Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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