I feel like I'm in dance class right now
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Why did my mother make you get naked?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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