A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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