Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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