she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize