I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
