I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
