I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
