We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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