I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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