If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
