I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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