Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This baby is an asshole
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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