So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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