No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize