Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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