Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
sex in a hospital.. check
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
