Me. At least after what I've been through.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
