Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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