you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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