nut hugger
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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