if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
