Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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