I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
