just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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