All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
