does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
