omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
