i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
