He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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