we have officially lost it.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
