Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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