but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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