I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
