Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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