Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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