i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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