I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
