oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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