yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Alive.
So much puke
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
