somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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