My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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