i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have aggressive nipples.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
