Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
