Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
