bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize