We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
