So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
