My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she looked like the before picture.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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