I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
