Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
