Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
