Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Rumble strips road head = magical
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
