I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
