I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
