its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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