I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize