Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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